::[ kampungkai ]::

Sunday, January 30

Ridiculous Riddles

Oh finally... I'm back for the weekend after a few torturous days at MIAT. Rumours have been spreading around campus about we MAS students are going to be sent back to Subang Airport for training (keep my fingers cross), and there's a better rumour on the spread too.... "MAS may send us to Ireland for training". hahaha...I bet you, it won't happen! MAS cannot afford such expenses. All they know is to waste money on A380 advertisements on TV, which the plane will only start operating in 2007, i wonder why such an early introduction? (to show off to AirAsia that they have big planes i guess?)

As usual, whenever i'm back for the weekend, i'd definitely go online, catch up what i've lost throughout the week, read through blogs and chat with friends. Not too long after logging into ICQ, YM, and MSN, there was this message blinking in ICQ. From 'Lucy'- a girl i got to know last week through random search.(She searched for me). So I clicked on the blinking message and here goes..........................
*enjoy the message

Lucy :"Hi, long time no c. Mind to chat?"
me :"hey.. how are u? sorry that i couldn't chat with u the whole week, i was back at campus, no internet over there."
Lucy :"ic... :

- conversation stopped for around 5 minutes, didn't know what to talk bout-

me :"so.... how old are u now? where ya from?"
Lucy :"i'm from perlis. 16y/o"
me :"oh i see perlis, very far from here. so now in form4 issit?"
Lucy :"ya. U know perlis?"

- duhhhh! of course i know la! i'm a malaysian-

me :"wel for sure i know.. it's at the border of malaysia and thailand, northern part"
Lucy :"ya"

- conversation stopped for around 5 minutes, didn't know what to talk bout-
- trying to recall what topic i normally talk about when i was in form4-
- suddenly a topic struck my mind-

me :"so , tomorrow got tuition or not?"(hahahha! all i remembered in secondary school was having lots of tuition)
Lucy :"got..."
me :"what subj?"
Lucy :"kimia.... 10-11:30"
me :"kesian.. why got tuition on saturday wan?"
Lucy :"dunno...."

- silence for 5 mins -

me :"got homework or not? add maths teaching wat now? matrix?"
Lucy :"nope... teaching something something"(i forgotten what was it)
me :"when is your test? dun be sad if u fail add maths ok? it's normal... most ppl will fail"
Lucy :"har? really ar? i very scared"
me :"nvm nvm... just try your best, U'll get use to failing in form 4 and 5"(hahahah!)

- silence for 5 mins -

Lucy :"eh i ask u question."
me :"ok" (shit.. hope she dun ask me add maths, cos i've erased them from my memory)
Lucy :"got 1 ant, goes throught the desert, how come there's no footprint, but only a straight line?"

- are u serious? i have to answer such question? why so mouliu wan?
- jaws wide open. watching blankly at the monitor, shooke my head-
- ppl, start cracking your head now and think, search for the answer -

me :"i dunno laaaa... tell me the answer la"
Lucy :"u think... very easy wan"
me :"cannot la...i dunno the answer"
Lucy :"want me to tell u?"
me :"ya tell me the answer"
Lucy :"because lehh...... the ant is cycling with a bicycle, that's y no footprint and got straight line lo!"

- falls to the floor -
- what!!! I can't believe i'm playing this with her -
- unwillingly continued the conversation, as though i was excited and interested -

me :"hahahha! like that also can a.... haha... so funny la"
Lucy :"ask u the 2nd question, related to 1st question wan... very easy"
me :"ok" (harrr?? another question? some1 help me!!)
Lucy :"A man put a cake in the fridge, when he went back and get the cake, how come he knew that the cake has been eaten finish?"

- crack my head even harder, thinking seriously -
- cannot la.. really canot d.. i really dunno -
- ppl, start cracking your head AGAIN and think, search for the answer -

me :"i dunno la.. can tell me the answer?"
Lucy :"hahahha because the man saw the bicycle parked outside the fridge, so he knew the ant must have eaten up the cake"

- falls to the floor -
- takes up the blade and stab myself -
- sits back towards my chair, look up the ceiling and sighed with a laugh -
- hope i could just commit suicide -

me :"wahh like that also can a.. hahhaha really funny wor!"
Lucy :"told u it's very easy la... Q1 & 2 related wan"
me :"so i guess there's Q3?"
Lucy :"yeap.. hehe how u know wan?"
me :"so what's Q3 about?"
Lucy :"the ant, the fridge, and the man are in an aeroplane, but overweight... which should be thrown out in order to have a safe weight limit?"

- ahhhh this is easy, the fridge la, since it's the heaviest -
- hahah i manage to get the 3rd answer this time -

me :"the fridge? cos it's the heaviest..."
Lucy :"wrong... correct answer is fridge + ant should be thrown out of the plane"
me :"har?????"
Lucy :"cos the ant is inside the fridge ma...."

- alamak... how heavy is an ant???!!!!!!!!!! -

- aiyooooo i really having heart attack now la, can feel my veins bursting -

me :"so where did u learn all these question from ha, so keng wan?"
Lucy :"hahah.. funny hor? today one of the guys told all of us in class, all of us laugh till wanna die hahhaa"

- didn't know perlis' guys are superduper LAME, now i know -
- i couldn't stand her anymore , had to ignore her immediately -

me :"eh i gtg.. wanna go swimming, it's very hot!"
Lucy :"ok... see u again"

- oh no.. i would never wanna see u again.. -

Aiyooooo really cannnot tahan la... why is she so childish? were we like that when we were form4? definitely no rite?? we would be busy copying homework, no time for jokes and ridiculous riddles ya?(hahahahhha! damn true *shakes head) Wonder what has change the new generation kids, is it the can food? can drinks? school education? .....?...........................?

Since then i've ignored Lucy, not replying her messages. Well, it's not her fault actually, there's nothing wrong with her.. it's just my problem. I think the 5 years of age gap between us makes things awkward, especially when she's still in secondary school and i'm in tertiary level. It's hard to communicate, true?

Wednesday, January 26

Bungee Jump

I so so so so wanted to try this when i was in Bali a few weeks back. Darn syok wey...standing at the edge of the platform and "free fall". I dun think you would be able to even scream because it's really scary. From afar of the other end of the beach, you would be able to see that 8-9 stories high platform.

The tower could be seen from a distance

So, me and bro super semangat walked towards the tower, teasing each other that we'll shiver while standing at the edge haha! or might just wet our pants! Each step closer made our heart pound faster and harder, very eXcIteD!!!

Reached the place. Knee joint became extremely weak.
me:"oi, sure u wanna jump ar?"
bro:"(looks at me and smile) hehehe.... dunno la, u leh?"
me:"(looks back and smile) very high oh!"
bro:"i know... we see ppl jump 1st la"
me:"ok lo..."

To tell u the truth, at that moment of conversation, neither of us wanted to do it. why? simple....... very scared! haha! :P (My knees are weak right now, cos i still can imagine the situation)
(would wish to show u the video, but dunno how to upload video, any1 can teach me?)
after looking at the 1st jump by this qweilo, again i asked myself "are u sure u want to do this?"
Well, me and bro challenged our guts, walked to the counter.

me and bro:"hello.."
cashier:"good evening, how can i help you?"
me and bro:"we want to jump"
cashier:"oh sure, here are the packages u can choose from(points to the board behind him)"
me and bro:"(swallows saliva... silence for 10 sec)
me and bro:"(i looked at him, he looked at me. smiles) come let's go. Thank you!"
cashier:"u r welcomed!"

know why we left without asking more? .................................bcos it cost US$75 to jump one time!!!!!!!!!!!!! (pressing calculator) and it comes to RM286 ok? which is also equivalent to 715,000rp. For your info, i brought 1,000,000rp only. Even though we had more money, we wouldn't do the jump, because it's over priced. The 2nd package is 2 jumps, US$90 / RM343. Both package came with the jump, a t-shirt, and a certificate.

Come on la... want to jump off the edge also must pay few hundred bucks, just get a free pass up to KLCC-twin tower's bridge and jump off, free of charge, lagi syok. (ppl...i'm not encouraging u to commit suicide ok?)

In the end, we walked off with a smile because it was getting dark and our stomach was having an orchestra. Hope 1 day when i'm rich, i'll return to BaLi and overcome my fear. Dare me? I'll dare you! bring it on boy!

*btw, u have to sign the 'death letter' b4 jumping.

The Tower

The deep pool, just in case the extension rope snaps

Tuesday, January 25

Nose Digging

I was heading down south to Historical city - Malacca for Karen's bday party, yesterday. Baked some cookies for CNY, so thinking it might be a good present for her, i packed it nicely in a bottle, and wrapped with recycled paper then tied with a fine rope(there... those with some dried flowers compressed on it)

Left home at 6pm, obeyed highway speed, cruising at 110km/h(cheewahhhhh 1st time haha!). Just b4 approaching seremban highway exit, suddenly saw so many cars with brakelights on, i slowly gave the brake paddle a press to slow down, couldn't see what was happenng in front, cos i was on a slope.15secs later, i was at the peak, and i shook my head in frustration. "jam again" i said. Guess there must be an accident that cause the massive jam.(keep on reminding myself to get the car number plate for 4D, heck!)

Well, i spent my time "sight-seeing"... looking left looking right, seeing who's the driver, might bump into a chic and brighten up my day! wahaha! (saliva drips) And indeed it was my day! i saw a chic, again with long black hair(if u have read 12males & 1 female, u'll know why). She was driving a black proton wira aeroback, behind me. Therefore i was busy watching my rear mirror, enjoying her sharp features. man... she's pretty! wonder if i could just walk out of my car and just sit in her car and have a chat, it's jam wat! the cars are not moving! why waste time? do some better things la... wahahah! might earn myself a night, who knows?(mum's voice suddenly pop out :"be a good boy, son")

5,10,15,20.... 20 minutes past, i was still caught in the jam. Seems because the PLUS ppl opened up an extra lane for north going users on our side of the road, so that's y jam. bodoh betul, they should have let 1 side jam, better than 2 sides ya?ostrich brain!!(because it's smaller than a peanut u know?)

I continued my sight-seeing. On my right hand side was this blue protonsaga, quite an old car, with rust here and there, a minor dent on the left side bumper,the windows were winded down. I looked in the car from my side. And there was this Malay uncle holding a ciggarette on his right hand, puffing like a chimney. i had a few glimpse of him timet o time, and this time i saw his left hand move up towards his face, using his knuckles to push his nose, blocked nose i guess? Then i had the most shocking view of my lifetime, he stuck his left index finger into his "NOSE HOLE".

Dig dig dig...seems hard to get it out, dig some more... twisting the finger around the hole(it was the left hole for your info), moving the head abit to hit the right angle... WTF!!! ewwwwwwwwwww... gross! why must it be me who sees such thing! that's not the end.... after several attempts to dig shit from his nose, he succeeded! Well couldn't see what color it was, but i guess it's either white or green or brown la. The shit was on his left index finger rite?so his thumb came together with the index finger, and made a shit ball out of it, spinning it softly, using his wonderful shitball making skill to make it as perfectly round as possible. Here's the best part, he flick it out of the window................................................... Thank God not on my side, Thank God the other car's window was not down, Thank God he did not sniff b4 flicking. WTF laaaaaaaaaa why Malaysians so uncivilised wan! kononnya Malaysia Boleh... Buang Shit Ball jugak boleh!

Piggy: "my nose hole is bigger!"

hmm... dunno whether any birds looking for food might just pick up that shitball for breakfast not?God Bless You, birdy! (wonder what taste shitball is, any idea? feel free to comment)

Prince advice : If u wanna dig shit, do it in the washroom or while bathing. Be hygeinic.
It would make the world a better place to live in, and it would soothe my eyes alot. Thank you.

Saturday, January 22

12males & 1 female in swimming pool

After going CNY shopping with mum at Alamanda Putrajaya, I found out that i have to cut some pounds to have a more presentable outlook.So, i decided to go swimming!!

At 6:20pm, i semangat-semangat wore my trunks, folded my towel, and took out my goggles from the cupboard...took the car key and screamed "meee, i'm going swimming". Happily driving to the club house at bkt mewah, wondering how many laps to swim today, and also thinking that since today is a public holiday(Hari Qurban), so there will be more girls(saliva dripping), and thus i lagi semangat to swim!

b4 getting down from the car, i put on my oakleys sunglasses(pirated laaa, where got so rich!btw, RM12 only), paid RM6 at the counter, walked down the stairs, laid my slippers aside, and walked towards the lazy bench...wahh damn gaya i tell u, i notice ppl looking at me while walking (of course la, oakleys sunglasses wat) hahah! paiseh paiseh.. Then did some stretching as if i'm a pro, scanned the pool for chics, and slowly pulled my shirt off... walaa! -a fat ass-

dived into the pool, and swam underwater til the deep end. During this 15seconds underwater, i felt as though i was thrown naked on a block of ice!! damn farking cold ok? well just imagine a frog shivering while swimming, darn it freaks me out.Reached the surface, put on my yellow tinted goggles(means i can see u, but u can't see my eyes), and did a thorough scan both above water level and below water level. Not bad, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ..... 7 girls! 4 of them were in 2 piece, sweet!Thank God today no dinosaurs swimming today, only ikan bilis.

6:40pm... peak time. About 12 males, all darn semangat swimming, got frog style la, freestyle la, butterfly style la, dog style la, and for the kids... dunno wat style, but looks like baby elephant style. Fuiyorr... when the butterflies come, all the other swimers stop and look, gaya sial! then got this uncle, semangat semangat wanna do butterfly also, so i stopped and watched. Bush! Splash! Bush! Splash! Bush! Splash! wahlannnnn... u know what is baby ikan paus ar? that's the uncle la! Nothing same like a butterfly, but a baby ikan paus that only know how to splash ALOT of water out.. and there was this little girl learning how to swim, when her head was up from the water to breathe, the deflection of water from the ikan paus drowned her! Oh My God! poor girl... dun worry, she survived, just a few coughs hahahha!

all the guys were still swimming lap by lap, one after another, without stopping, mainly to impress the girls who were by the side of the pool most of the time. And how can i loose out? so i also go lap by lap laaa... choosing the lane nearest to the side, so that the girls can notice me. A mixture of freestyle and frogstyle swam by them. Freestyle was the best, cos can see sideways, wahhh nice body! saliva mixed with pool water at that time...ewwwww! (we'll talk bout kids and swimming pool in another post, if u get what i mean)

swimming syok syok at full speed... suddenly POM! i immediately stopped, rose my head from the water, and saw a long black hair girl right in front of me. Shit, i bang into her... "I'm so sorry, are you ok?" She replied with just a smile and said sorry too. Suddenly brain freeze, dunno wat to do, so i dived my head in and continued swimming lagi full speed, malunyaaaa... Well, i didn't eat her toufu ok, just hit her upper arm (i knoww..... it's near). After that, her smile was in my head on every single lap, she looked nice in that black 2 piece, sweet girl.(ahhhh tonite sure sweet dream)

7:15pm.... 7,6,5,4,3,2.... 6 girls left the pool, left only 1 girl! Sial! and obviously no more guys were doing laps ANYMORE right after the girls left. Teruk la guys...eh i was still swimming for your info, thinking bout banging into that girl, and very dissapointed in myself for not getting her name(duhhh macam pimp). And so... 12 males & 1 female in swimming pool. All hanging around the sides as though they were in a hot spring. Pity that girl, she must be so freaked out and scared and terrified and shy..... 15minutes later, she got out too, darn! But i didn't waste the view of her walking in her suit towards the washroom, nice body! (saliva dried up d... mouth opened only)

Finally, i reached my target of 60 laps. Dun get me wrong, the pool is only half the length of olympic size. So it makes a normal 30 laps swim. Dried myself, wore clothes, put the towel on car seat, and drove home, WHILE thinking of the human accident that occured in the pool. and now 5 hours later still thinking of the human accident that occured in the pool. tomorrow will be the same... still thinking of the human accident that occured in the pool.....human accident in the pool.... accident in the pool.. in the pool.... pool.. pool... ool...ool......l............ ZZZzzzzZZzz....

Friday, January 7

Bali - Island of pApAyAAAAAAA

i saw bobbies! as in live ones! pure, uncensored! haha.... that's what i told all my friends when i came back from Bali, the island of paradise. I went with my brother, just the 2 of us, took a free & easy package, cost RM560/person, including airport taxes, airticket, accomodation, and buffet breakfast, 4D3N. (btw, i got this package during MATA fair, so expect to pay an extra RM200 for usual price)

My brother - Iu Shen

and ME!

Many ppl said i was so brave to go Bali, cos the Tsunami just attacked 7days b4 the day i went. Hey, dun worry dudes... Bali is far far away down south, just 1 hour flight from Australian land, and protected by java, so it's safe. Life still goes on like normal, just like back here in KL. In fact, during my 4days trip, heard no1 talk bout tsunami. But i was abit worried that the BALI BOMBING might happen again, anytime, anywhere. Anyway... Thank God. I'm back in 1 piece, not plural, but singular. haha! :p

Currency exchange is 10,000 rupiah - RM4.40(let's use RM4 for easier calculation). Largest paper note is 100,000 rp, followed by 50,000 20,000 10,000 5,000 and 1,000. So means the largest note is our Rm40 la. Conversation on prices there freaked me out on the 1st day of arrival. ie: "berapa ni?" "tiga puluh ribu..." whatttttt?????????? 30 thousand? u can buy a kancil over here! but that's in rp la... haha! so it's just a matter of getting use to it... ribu here ribu there. i change RM500 for rp, guess how much i got? 1 million rp!!!! never in my life i felt so rich... u hold the paper also syok, so many zeroesssssssssss. wahahhah...... Time zone over there is same with malaysia, but the sky turns dark earlier in the evening, around 6:30pm? weather, same - hot and humid.

religion over there majority is hindu and buddhist( the only place in indonesia which is not muslim). And every morning there's this tradition of offering flowers in a small 'anyaman' basket with a jostick laid on it to the God. It is done by every single family, every single day... and thus whole BALI smells like flower! serious!! the whole town smells soooo nice... makes u feel comfortable. really miss the smell.... mmmm flowers.

Oblations for the God

A Hindu procession

See the pic below? that's me with the surfboard. rented it for 20,000(rm8) for whole day, cheap huh? waves were really big, never in my life saw such waves... now only know Port Dickson's wave ciplak la... baby also won't drown. How should i describe Bali's wave.. erm... very strong current, very scary. once u fall from the surfboard, u'll go underwater for like 5seconds, and then the current underneath will curl and bring u up again like a wave and plunge down again.. and that contributes an additional 10seconds, comes to 15seconds all in. So make sure u take a real deep breath b4 falling off.And do pray there's no stones on the seabed. You won't be able to control your movement at all, u just hav2 follow what the current does to u. Anyhow, dun worry so much though it sounds scary, it's really fun! If u manage to catch the wave, it would just push u all the way til the shore. Very fast speed, very thrilling!

Big waves, 3-4 metres high

the shore was covered with mist around 100 metres out, because the waves hit so strongly, brings up lots of water into the air. During low tide, u can see Golden Retrivers and other stray dogs running aroud, playing happily, chasing each other. They are not afraid of the water, but even went for a swim! not like my taman's dog, only lie under the car and pee on my tyres.

There's a rule on the beach(well self declared la), only bikinis allowed. 100% without exception. ohhh gorgeous! drop dead model figures walking everywhere on the beach, some sun bathing, some playing beach volleball, some surfing... and there's where i saw papayas! it was like a papaya farm alright? too bad i cannot pluck it, cos i wil be prosecuted on the spot.

wow, have been talking so much bout the beach. There are many places too, lots of greenery, lots of padi.Overall, Bali is worth a visit. I wouldn't want to tell u too much, but i advice to go. nice place, affordable.

Reason for me to write this post mainly is to share my experience with you bout papayas wan...hahaha! and before i finish this, i wanna tell u a weird thing in Bali. They actually plant LALANG!!!! as much as padi... just like how padi is planted, square blocks on pieces of land. i really mean LALANG, the LALANG we find at our house/deserted land. they actually plant it for a living over there... i wanted to tell them "hey, we have this back there for free, it's abundant" ahhahha! wel they plant it and harvest for making atap roof, they say it cools down the house, which i think it's true. Keep it up BALI! LALANG rulesss......

Pics from BaLi

Me with cool SurfBoard

At the hotel's swimming pool

Pool side Bar

Hotel's lobby - wooden carving

Hotel room

30,000rp(RM12) bike for 24hrs

Padi field - bird's eye view

See how dense the population is

Fowler flaps full down - prepapre to land

Lil Temple at every house / shop

Umbrella is to give protection to both God & human