::[ kampungkai ]::

Saturday, February 25

Hypnose the eyelashes

Still in time to post up my weekly article before i start work at Kampachi, else no one would wanna read anything from me again, because for being inconsistent in blogging. (I've been busy with studies!)

Girls = fashion slave. Agree? all the guys out there, i know u agree with me haha! They spend lots of $$$ on clothes and makeup, don't they? Not uncommon, they have this shop-till-drop syndrome. Maybe not for working ladies out there cos they have wages. But for girl friends of mine who are still studying, man... besides paying for room rent, everything else goes into shopping! they shop-till-die.

Even though we guys' stuff are much more expensive than gals (like PS2, iPod, leather shoes, Nike shoes), but yet, they still spend more than us! how come!? Besides, knowing that shopping means alot of walking, yet gals still wear high-heels for shopping, even though i always lecture my girl friends to wear snikers instead. Sigh... *shakes head, NEVER LEARN!

But well, no harm done-lah... Gals always look pretty and gorgeous. With those rosy cheeks, sexy lips, and heels, they attract whole lots of attention! Keep it up! We(guys) do complain, but yet our eyes never fail u haha! :P

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Joel & Amy (black blouse)

Who she? She - my online friend, Amy. But preferred to be called Monster, she loves it, rite monster? A lil bit of intro, I got to know monster some years back then when ICQ was such a hip (when we gotta memorise some 9 digit account number, remember?). She's 19, and currently studying in St. Andrews, Scotland.

One fine day, she IM me and said "I need to borrow RM100 from u". I went blur and could only make the expression of 'huhhhh?'. Knowing that she's in UK, my brain started doing some calculations. RM100 = 15pounds. Why on earth would she wanna borrow 15 pounds from me, it's not even enough to pay for her dinner!

Then, slowly and sweetly... she asked for a favour, to help her buy a mascara from Lancome. Well done, she's asking a GUY who knows nuts bout makeup to help her buy a mascara. After getting a short makeup class from her, well it ain't that hard to understand the terms like Lengthening & Volume, though to me, length means inches, cm, mm, foot, and miles; whereas volume = length x width x height. But to girls, it means 60% increase in eye lashes' length and volume makes her grow more eye lashes!

It was a big dissapointment when i drove to Kajang town's Parkson Grand. There was no such brand called Lancome at the makeup section, but there was one called Mustika Ratu, duh! I do hope some marketing fella from Lancome is reading this now, open a booth in Parkson Grand, Kajang! It would make my life easier! I just wanna buy a mascara from u, and u make me go all the way to Mid-valley, so pa-pai!

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There I was, in mid-valley with a bunch of guys (i'm so dead). As usual, they started teasing me when i said that i need to buy a mascara. Who's that girl? Pretty not? eh, since when, never tell us? what's her name? Ignoring them, i walked towards the Lancome sales girl. (shy to the maximus!)

*with a weird look on her face upon seeing me
SalesGirl: ???
me: i wanna buy a mascara.
sg: what type of mascara do u want?
me: ?????
sg: hahaha, well we have 2 new products, L'extreme and Hypnose. L'extreme gives 60% increase in length and Hypnose gives both length and volume, but not as lenghty as L'extreme.
me: ?????
sg: hahaha, is she active in sports? does she sweat alot?
me: NO! (she's such a lazy ass)
sg: ok, then take the non-waterproof one. However, most ppl will take the waterproof one. With the waterproof one, she has to have a makeup remover, does she have one?
me: ?????
sg: *she gave up, cos she was like talking to an idiot
me: how much is L'extreme and Hypnose?
sg: L'extreme is RM89 and Hypnose is RM85.

What the heck, a 5.2g black stick cost RM85!? the packet chilli sauce given by KFC is even heavier than it (10g)! Using my logical brain, i made a decision to get the Hypnose. L'extreme's 60% increase in length would make her look fake, she's not a blardy camel from the dessert.

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I was wondering why couldn't she just buy it in scotland? Till she told me that it cost 30pounds over there, I was shocked! goodness, it comes to RM200 after conversion! crazy! wow... didn't know that Malaysia really is a shopping heaven to the westerners.

Hypnose, it sounds pretty good ya know? it's like, after applying Hypnose mascara on, u can hypnotise any guy u see, just like the movie Geisha haha! So for all the girls out there, go grab yourself a Hypnose and make the guys beg for moreeeeeeeee! LoL!

Friday, February 17

My RM50 phone

"Are u going tomorrow?"
"How much cash are u bringing?"
"Is your car full? can I hop in?"
"I wonder what are they selling."

International KASTAM Day. That was what all the hoo-haa was about. Every single fella in hostel was excited bout this particular day, because there's a KASTAM Sale. What's a KASTAM sale? It's where our Malaysian Kastam sells off smuggled stuff confiscated by them at a very very low price, haha I bet u wish that u could join me!

1st thing that came to my mind when i heard bout this Sale was 'Do they sell handphones?'. I have to admit that i was all excited bout it and was already drooling of me owning a Nokia N90, Nokia N70, Motorola RAZR v3/v3i, or a Samsung D600! How much? All for the maximum price of RM50! Lovely! Unbelievable!

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Woke up at 6:00am on a Monday morning, jump out from bed upon feeling the vibration from my hp alarm, ran to the bathroom to have a steamy hot bath and got dressed. My mum & dad saw me and said 'wah, why did u wake up so early?' LoL! they were shocked to see me awake at 6 in the morning. I guess they saw the blue moon? :P

Putrajaya, that's where the Malaysian KASTAM's HQ is. Very big building, easily noticed. It's right in front of u as u drive over that beautifully designed bridge. Btw, i heard lots of ppl saying that the view from the aeroplane of Putrajaya is nice, is it true?

There was already a crowd of 1000 people when i arrived at 7:30am. Yea, it was crazy. Obviously, there were lots of young people there for the same reason that i was there - to get the RM50 handphone. Without hesitation, me and my 'full-semangat' buddies joined the crowd and squeezed our way through to get in line. Though it was still early in the morning, and the sun was obscured by the fluffy clouds, but beads of sweat was forming on my face! Cos the heat generated by 1000 people = afternoon sun.

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See the crowd in the picture? The whole place was chaotic. We were all wondering, how come there's so many people attending this Kastam Sale? Don't they need to work? Don't they have classes to attend? (Fortunately i have my Monday free) Or most probably they ask for half day work, and students ponteng classes for the sake of RM50 hp? Truly Malaysians.

8:00am. Some guy stood on a ladder right in front of the crowd with a loud speaker and yelled "There's only 1,300 units of hp on sale, and it will only start at 2pm!" right after he said that, i felt as though i was in a riot crowd. Almost everyone was screaming away, condemning the fella who said that. "Kastam bodoh! Oi, buka kedai la! Boooooooo! *(&@#(*@&^#&$@ many many vulgar words came out from the mouth of Malaysians. As for me, i was busy protecting my white shoes from being stepped on, and also having both my arms in front of my chest protecting myself from being squashed to death. Truly Malaysians.

Having 6 long hours to wait till 2pm, me and my friends who have better brains decided to abandone the crowd after 6 minutes and head for breakfast 1st. Thinking that we have had our breakfast which gives us full of energy to go through the crowd again, and all the others would somehow feel hungry and tired, thus 1 by 1 leaving the crowd, we were wrong! by 10am when we arrived at the same spot, the crowd has multiplied by 3 fold. There was at least 3000-4000 ppl. (the papers reported 10,000ppl the next day)

4000 ppl: 1300 handphones. Something is wrong with the ratio. Out of 3 ppl, only 1 will get to buy it. Knowing this will happen, our KASTAM management came out with a smart idea. Lucky draw! so the crowd has to pull out an envelope from the box and see what the paper inside the envelope writes. Pray hard! if it writes 'Nokia N90 - RM50' Then, it is your lucky day.

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Beras 10kg - RM5
Gula 1.5kg - RM1
Kain Batik - RM5
Basikal - RM50
Handphone - RM50

Well, things didn't turn out as expected. There were no N90, no N70, no D600, no W800i. Basically, there was nothing above the price range of RM400. I pulled my paper out and it wrote 'Nokia 1600 - RM50'. Kinda dissapointed, i asked my other friends whether they got anything good. To my surprise, they had things worst than me!

These were what they(7 friends) had:
1. Nokia 3310 - RM50
2. Nokia 3310 - RM50
3. Nokia 3310(Tanpa Bateri) - RM20
4. Sony Ericsson T630 - RM50
5. Terima Kasih kerana sudi menghadiri Hari Kastam Antarabangsa. (LoL!)
6. -
7. -

Oh yea, while queueing up to get the 1300 envelopes given out, the crowd went crazy. Pushing here and there, lots of people fell down. While being pushed and pulled in the crowd, i saw a row wood-colored batons in front. I wondered what it was. Suddenly, i started to hear yelling of order from the front. Few seconds later, i saw policemen with red crash helmets on, holding a baton on the right hand, and a see-through shield on the left hand! OMG, it was the Federal Reserved Unit(FRU)!!!

I really felt as though i was in a riot, no kidding! Imagine how chaotic the scene was till the extend of deploying the FRU to control the crowd. These FRU started ordering the crowd to make lines. Giving no chance to those not in line, the FRU pulled them with their mighty arms like nobody's business. it didn't matter to the FRUs whether u r a male or female, they pulled the shirt as though it was going to tear any second. I was traumatised.

"Mana barisan kau, KELUAR!"
"Masuk dalam barisan, CEPAT!"

The FRUs threatened those who didn't obey them with their baton. Everyone was shocked and the crowd obediently lined up. However, 5 mins later, it went back to chaos. Suddenly, a well-build FRU man came up 2metres away from me. He zipped open the pouch on his lower back and pulled out a sivery-colored aluminum can. There was a pin at the top of the can. I was very very traumatised.

With his forefinger engaging the ring which was connected to the pin, he threatened by saying "Nak saya tarik tak? Ha? Buat barisan sekarang!". I dunno what the hell was that but i guess it's a tear gas thingy which makes u run like an ant's house being destroyed. Friends of mine were joking bout it, thinking of the possibility of being a FlashBang! (for those who play counterstrike, u know what it is)

Heck, all the pushing, yelling, threatening, and trauma just for a low-end RM50 handphone. Not worth it. i left the crowd at 12noon, and went home to rest. 4.5 hours later i went back to retrieve my Nokia 1600. They said "oh, stok habis la.. hanya tinggal Nokia 2300"

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So, there goes my color screen new model from Nokia (which i found out it was NEW after i went home), it cost bout RM350 in the market. Thus, now owning a Nokia 2300 without color screen. *sob sob Anyhow, i gave it to my mum as a Valentine Gift. hehehhe! That's the good point of not having a gf. My mum = my gf!

If there's any Kastam Sale going on next year. I will not be there. It's pure stupidity to go for such a sale. yea, i'm pretty stupid for going for Kastam Sale 2006 haha! *Smack! (smack me please?)

Malaysians, anything cheap will attract them. If there's free food and drinks, the crowd would be bigger. Malaysians, Truly Malaysia. Don't u think so?

Sunday, February 12


Happy Chinese Valentine's Day! Any guys out there bringing bamboo sticks with an aquarium fishing net tied at the end to the river? Time for bachelors like me to do so. Tonight is the night where bachelorettes throw a mandarin-orange, along with hp number (haha) into the river, and bachelors will be waiting downstream, hoping to get an orange from the river and meet 'The Destined One'. Hopefully, i dun fish up an orange from a GAY! *run!

Kampungkai would be spending his Valentine's Night in a Japanese Restaurant this Tuesday, with all the lovey-dovey couples together, enjoying the love atmosphere, sipping warm green tea from the porcelain cup, and enjoying every bit of the mouth-watering appetizer, main course, and dessert. HOWEVER, Kampungkai will not have a valentine to sit with, to eat with, to laugh with, nor to kiss with! Because... Kam-pungkai is working in Kam-pachi!

Kampachi is a Japanese Restaurant located in Equatorial Hotel (Bangi). It's about 9km away from Kajang town. Inside, u get the feel of a nice japanese restaurant. Upstairs, there are 4 private rooms (i think it's called Tatami?), which can sit about 10 people each, pretty big i should say. And u have to take off your shoes before entering the room, part of the custom perhaps?

Why am i working? Well, thinking that since i'm so free, why not get some stuff to do. Better than sitting in front of the PC everyday and night, checking out the same old URLs daily rite? I have classes from Tuesday-Friday, so i decided to work for the weekends only for the buffet session. Besides, it's a good chance for me to put my japanese speaking to full use! Irasshaimase! Arigato Gozaimasu! Chotto Matte! and.... BAKA!

Uh... Tuesday night, serving all the lovey-dovey couples = sux. Kampungkai, why can't u be the one served instead of the one serving? Special night with extra work, but no extra salary, and they are begging me to come on Tuesday night to work. Hm...What if i ffk them? hahaha... there other waiter and waitresses would be doomed!

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Kimono Girls

So do i get to join the crowd and eat buffet? Yes of course! but behind the curtains. At the end of the buffet session, we will be in the kitchen, salvaging what is left. There will be sushi(s), tempura(s)... everything! wahahaha! That's the best part of being a waiter! Ooo, not to forget, there's this petite and pretty kakak working as a waitress in Kampachi too, she soothes my eyes and brightens up my day! LoL! The fact that her uniform is a Kimono makes her really stunning, how i wish she was beside me........smiling.......serving............... *dreaming

*Smack! Anyway, they are only paying me RM4/hr. That's not that high. But then the real reason for me to work there is not because of the pay, but more of gaining experience and meeting different people. Through being a waiter, i get to better understand that there're alot of weird and different people out there. And because of these weird and different people, i'll learn how to cope and satisfy their needs (no sex needs ok!).

Now, i really understand stewardesses' job is not that easy. It's not only about serving food and drinks, but also to approach people in a decent way, how u present yourself, and how to make your guest happy and satisfied. And, at the end of the flight, or in my case the buffet session, a waiter/stewardess has walked a few miles! No kidding! Walking up and down between the kitchen and dining room, refilling the empty ocha pot (green tea pot), cleaning up the tables.... and the list goes on. I think i've walked 2.5km in Kampachi itself today haha! nah, just kidding!

For those of u who are interested to try out this japanese restaurant - Kampachi, feel free to come for the weekend buffet, i'll be there! Make sure u tell me the secret password when u see me, then i'll know that u r a blogger haha! (highlight the password at the bottom of the page)

Saturday night's buffet: RM56++ 6:30pm-10:00pm
Sunday aftn's buffet: RM50++ 12:00pm-2:30pm
Valentine night's buffet: RM88++
Check out more about Kampachi, Equatorial Hotel here.

So, see u guys in Kampachi! Don't forget to give me tips ya!
Secret Password: Kampungkai (LoL, easy huh? :P)

Saturday, February 4

My 1st Blogger Gathering

Happy Chinese New Year! (still in the festive mood ya!) :) Gong Xi! Gong Xi! Just got back from my 1st blogger gathering in Milwaukee Steak House, Kepong. Was indeed excited and surprised to see my fellow bloggers in real person! Everyone was without a keyboard and monitor, so i was daydreaming, imagining how would it feel if everyone was in front of the pc. Maybe the next gathering should be held in a CC, then we can all blog together! haha...

You see, bloggers have this syndrome, a unique syndrome i should say. In the streets, it's very obvious to notice if one is a blogger or not. If he/she brings the digicam along wherever he/she goes, and snaps whatever he/she does or eat or see, walaaaaa! u found yourself a blogger! who definitely has the so called 'blogger syndrome'. (Most) Bloggers will be snapping pics everywhere they go, for the sake of our own blog, for enhancing the blog outlook, for attracting more readers, or just for memories in the journal.

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At Milwaukee, Kepong.

Here u are, proof that these bloggers in the pic have 'blogger syndrome'. Everyone is having a camera in their hand, snapping nonstop, they are un-controllable! I have to admit that the flashes from the camera is making me see tweety birds flyng around my head. Btw, how come i still see so many full moons in my eyes, definitely because of the flashes!

Yummy yummy, had a sirloin steak with black pepper sauce (RM21.90)+ mashed potato(RM5.90). It's dissapointing that the chef in the kitchen doesn't understand the writing of the waitress who took my order. Me, being so particular in steak, asked for a medium-cooked steak, which should supposedly turn out reddish in the center of the meat after cutting, soft and juicy when chewed on, but ended up getting a well-done piece of steak that was tough and dry. Urgh, wasted piece of meat.

Didn't expect to get an angpao from the gathering. Thanx twinsmom! hahahha... u very lenglui, u will earn lots and lots of money, u got long life, u will gain fame around the world, u will have loving children and husband, u will win ToTo, 1+3D, 1+4D, Magnum, Long Live Twinsmom! LoL! (have to praise sky high to get bigger angpao for the next few years)

Sorry to all who were at the gathering. Didn't speak much cos me shy hahaha! So i'm volunteering myself for free smacking and whacking for trying to act cute and say that i'm shy. LoL!

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Look at the clouds formation, seems like a tornado!

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A view that guys would bring their girls for :)

After clearing the bills, me jason and mr. kiasa, went to a well-known place among selangorians. It's called small-genting! ahhhh, sounds familiar? it's in Ampang, on the top of the hill, where lots of cars not from the neighbourhood would park their car and have a breath-taking night view of Kuala Lumpur.

Here and there u can see young couples standing by the rails of the hill, most of the time the guy will be behind the girl, hugging them, while viewing the blink-blink lights of K.L, so lovely, so romantic huh? But too bad la, i was there with 2 other guys, ish! Potong Stim kaokao!