::[ kampungkai ]::

Tuesday, January 25

Nose Digging

I was heading down south to Historical city - Malacca for Karen's bday party, yesterday. Baked some cookies for CNY, so thinking it might be a good present for her, i packed it nicely in a bottle, and wrapped with recycled paper then tied with a fine rope(there... those with some dried flowers compressed on it)

Left home at 6pm, obeyed highway speed, cruising at 110km/h(cheewahhhhh 1st time haha!). Just b4 approaching seremban highway exit, suddenly saw so many cars with brakelights on, i slowly gave the brake paddle a press to slow down, couldn't see what was happenng in front, cos i was on a slope.15secs later, i was at the peak, and i shook my head in frustration. "jam again" i said. Guess there must be an accident that cause the massive jam.(keep on reminding myself to get the car number plate for 4D, heck!)

Well, i spent my time "sight-seeing"... looking left looking right, seeing who's the driver, might bump into a chic and brighten up my day! wahaha! (saliva drips) And indeed it was my day! i saw a chic, again with long black hair(if u have read 12males & 1 female, u'll know why). She was driving a black proton wira aeroback, behind me. Therefore i was busy watching my rear mirror, enjoying her sharp features. man... she's pretty! wonder if i could just walk out of my car and just sit in her car and have a chat, it's jam wat! the cars are not moving! why waste time? do some better things la... wahahah! might earn myself a night, who knows?(mum's voice suddenly pop out :"be a good boy, son")

5,10,15,20.... 20 minutes past, i was still caught in the jam. Seems because the PLUS ppl opened up an extra lane for north going users on our side of the road, so that's y jam. bodoh betul, they should have let 1 side jam, better than 2 sides ya?ostrich brain!!(because it's smaller than a peanut u know?)

I continued my sight-seeing. On my right hand side was this blue protonsaga, quite an old car, with rust here and there, a minor dent on the left side bumper,the windows were winded down. I looked in the car from my side. And there was this Malay uncle holding a ciggarette on his right hand, puffing like a chimney. i had a few glimpse of him timet o time, and this time i saw his left hand move up towards his face, using his knuckles to push his nose, blocked nose i guess? Then i had the most shocking view of my lifetime, he stuck his left index finger into his "NOSE HOLE".

Dig dig dig...seems hard to get it out, dig some more... twisting the finger around the hole(it was the left hole for your info), moving the head abit to hit the right angle... WTF!!! ewwwwwwwwwww... gross! why must it be me who sees such thing! that's not the end.... after several attempts to dig shit from his nose, he succeeded! Well couldn't see what color it was, but i guess it's either white or green or brown la. The shit was on his left index finger rite?so his thumb came together with the index finger, and made a shit ball out of it, spinning it softly, using his wonderful shitball making skill to make it as perfectly round as possible. Here's the best part, he flick it out of the window................................................... Thank God not on my side, Thank God the other car's window was not down, Thank God he did not sniff b4 flicking. WTF laaaaaaaaaa why Malaysians so uncivilised wan! kononnya Malaysia Boleh... Buang Shit Ball jugak boleh!

Piggy: "my nose hole is bigger!"

hmm... dunno whether any birds looking for food might just pick up that shitball for breakfast not?God Bless You, birdy! (wonder what taste shitball is, any idea? feel free to comment)

Prince advice : If u wanna dig shit, do it in the washroom or while bathing. Be hygeinic.
It would make the world a better place to live in, and it would soothe my eyes alot. Thank you.


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