::[ kampungkai ]::

Saturday, December 24


Most girls fear cockroaches aka 'siu keong'. I on the other hand, fear lizards (duh, bodoh, buat malu only). But that was history. One fine day, i don't know where i got the courage, i caught a lizard in my bare hands! Holding it in between the thumb and 1st finger. So, from that day onwards, i've been recruited by my family members as a lizard-buster!

Recently, these lizards got on my nerves. They crawl on the wall as though they are decors of the wall, shit on the wall as though the toilet bowl is on the wall, make that tiny-miny dinosaur sound as though they sing better than burung gagak. So annoying. Therefore, i decided to bring them down from the wall.

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Lizard : Hello everyone, my name is Lizardo!

1st lizard - the one on the wall above the TV. Why him? Because whenever i watch tv, that brown thing with 4 sucker feet is always there, and it's very distracting. Make me can't concentrate on the TV. Sorry to say, but he's lucky number 1. Say byebye!

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The Mop & Lizard Whacker

I brought out the tools. Simple household tools. Simple tools that can send shiver down lizards' backbone eventhough they're cold-blooded. Presenting to u, the Mop and the lizard whacker! (use to be fly whacker). If the lizards are not visible on the wall, go to the wall with lots of picture frames, with a clock, or with a mirror. These are potential hideout places for them. With 1 hand holding the picture frame, chase the lizard out with the Lizard Whacker on the other hand.

Tip: U must be fast and make sure u dun bang into any fragile things because you'll be running around the house. Immediately after the lizard departs the frame, grab hold of the Mop, and dun let go the Lizard Whacker. The lizard will definitely climd upwards away from u. Chase the fella with the mop end. Press the mop on top of it. Repeat procedure if it manages to run.

If it is caught under the mop end, get ready to brush it off the wall, because it will be free falling right to the ground. So, sweep it off and prepare the whacking part!

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Once it falls on the floor, u'll hear a PIAK sound, just like when u land flat in the swimming pool, ouch! Without hesitation, start whacking the lizard with the Lizard Whacker with full force. Dun worry, it won't get squash and intestines won't squirt out from the belly, they are quite elastic. If it tries to run, whack! run, whack! run, whack! walk, also whack! crawl, no need whack. When it's crawling, just gently press the head with the Whacker, take a plastic beg if u r scared to hold it, then put it in the plastic beg.

If not mistaken, lizards can't climb on plastic bag. Maybe it's slippery. Or maybe it's too dizzy to climb after all the whacks. Next, depending on u on how u wanna get rid of it. My mum will let go a brick at 4 feet above ground on to it. Yuks! I'm not that cruel, i'll just tie up the plastic bag, making sure no holes to escape, and throw into the dustbin, waiting to be collected by rubbish collector. Dun worry, lizards won't suffocate so soon. I've tried putting 2 lizards in a milo tin, airtight for 3 days. They survived.

Well, that's only 1. Long way for me to go. Perhaps i'll do hunting later during midnight when they are active. I think i'll leave the rice pot open tonight, with few grains of rice in there, make a trap out of it, and slam the cover when it bites the rice! Good Idea!
Merry Christmas to everyone. It's Christmas Eve today. However, i'm gonna have a lonely Christmas Eve at home. No programs for me, i guess i'll be catching lizards? Anyone wanna bring me out for dinner? :(


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